Lizze was invited to go to a concert with her mother and a few of her mother’s friends. The concert is in another state, so it would be an overnight trip and they would be driving.
She’s asking me if she can go, like she needs my permission or something. However, she realizes that she would be leaving with a great deal of responsibility and I appreciate her considering my feelings in the subject.
Ironically, my hesitation to agree to take on this challenge has nothing to do with having 3 boys on the Autism Spectrum to care for. Sure, doing this by myself would be tough but I’ve done it before and everyone survived.
Besides, she more than deserves this.
My concern is the impact this trip would have in her overall health. Here’s the reality. Lizze is just getting over a 9 week long migraine. If that’s not the exact number, it’s in the ballpark. She has also been dealing with one fibromyalgia flare after another. Most days she has a hard time just getting out of bed. That’s the reality.
With that said, if there was ever anyone that deserved a break or a chance to get away, it would be Lizze.
My concern is that while this trip my last 24 hours, the fallout will last much longer. My fear is that Lizze will come home in worse shape then she is right now and honestly, I can’t imagine it being really being worse then what she already experiences every single day.
I feel horrible that I have to point this out to her, but at the same time, I’m trying to protect her and preserve my family.
I could survive the 24 hour trip alone with the boys, heck, it might even be fun, but there’s no telling how long she would be down for after returning home.
We are surviving due in part to the extremely fragile balance we have managed to find. Lizze going down or getting worse disrupts that balance and can destabilize the kids. She knows this and so do I.
It sucks but these are the cards we have been dealt. I truly wish it was different but all we can do is make the best out of it and generally speaking, we do just that.
Lizze is pretty bummed out right now and I don’t blame her one bit. Perhaps someday, things will be different and we will be in a place to weather this a little better.
Until that days comes, life will just have so suck sometimes.