Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski, Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia, Google+

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Sometimes life just sucks

Lizze was invited to go to a concert with her mother and a few of her mother’s friends. The concert is in another state, so it would be an overnight trip and they would be driving.

She’s asking me if she can go, like she needs my permission or something. However, she realizes that she would be leaving with a great deal of responsibility and I appreciate her considering my feelings in the subject.

Ironically, my hesitation to agree to take on this challenge has nothing to do with having 3 boys on the Autism Spectrum to care for. Sure, doing this by myself would be tough but I’ve done it before and everyone survived. :-)

Besides, she more than deserves this.

My concern is the impact this trip would have in her overall health. Here’s the reality. Lizze is just getting over a 9 week long  migraine. If that’s not the exact number, it’s in the ballpark. She has also been dealing with one fibromyalgia flare after another. Most days she has a hard time just getting out of bed. That’s the reality.

With that said, if there was ever anyone that deserved a break or a chance to get away, it would be Lizze.

My concern is that while this trip my last 24 hours, the fallout will last much longer. My fear is that Lizze will come home in worse shape then she is right now and honestly, I can’t imagine it being really being worse then what she already experiences every single day.

I feel horrible that I have to point this out to her, but at the same time, I’m trying to protect her and preserve my family.

I could survive the 24 hour trip alone with the boys, heck, it might even be fun, but there’s no telling how long she would be down for after returning home.

We are surviving due in part to the extremely fragile balance we have managed to find. Lizze going down or getting worse disrupts that balance and can destabilize the kids. She knows this and so do I.

It sucks but these are the cards we have been dealt.  I truly wish it was different but all we can do is make the best out of it and generally speaking, we do just that.

Lizze is pretty bummed out right now and I don’t blame her one bit. Perhaps someday, things will be different and we will be in a place to weather this a little better.

Until that days comes, life will just have so suck sometimes.

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About the author

Lost and Tired

I'm Rob Gorski and I started this blog in January 2010 as a means of sharing my family's real life journey raising 3 boys on the #Autism Spectrum.
It's important for people to understand what Autism can really be like and the impact it has on the family. We aren't a TV show and there are no actors. This is our struggle, our journey...and it's all true.

I am "Lost and Tired" and
this is "My Reality #Autism".

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4 comments
Tired Mom
Tired Mom

I think it's a very smart thing to take all of possible outcomes into consideration. I have fibro as well, and as you already know, fibro affects everyone differently. If you've had past experiences where there was a "recovery time" after going out, then your concerns are just. My fibro is not as bad as Lizzie's, but there are days where I try to push myself just to do work around the house (weeding or even basic cleaning), and then I end up paying for it for like a week! Usual coping techniques have never worked for me and I know you and Lizzie have tried everything. It's a sad reality that there are things that would be fun to do, but would end up causing more harm in the end. But that's the reality. You guys are not alone! And I will continue keeping all of you in my thoughts and prayers. My recent post Autism News for Friday, November 18, 2011

Nan
Nan

My mother has fibro as well, and as long as she paces herself she always benefits from getting away from the stress of daily life by taking short vacations. It might be the best thing she can do for herself and for all of you.

Allyson
Allyson

I have fibro, too... and I just want to say that since stress triggers fibro, that even though the trip may be physically difficult (if she and her companions take the proper measures, though it doesn't have to be, I'm forced to travel a lot for work and have found ways to keep it from being too bad) then the relaxation and companionship might be enough to break the cycle of flares. She knows her limits, and if she thinks she can do it, then it could be a very, very good thing for her and, in return, for all of you. :)

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