Posts tagged aspergers
Despite #Autism, my kids are still polite and respectful
2Something that has always bothered me is the parents that shoot those daggered looks of judgement. Most of you know what I’m talking about. When I’m out in public and my child with Autism has a meltdown or is otherwise struggling in the environment he is in at that particular moment. People unsympathetically look at me as though I should do something more aggressive than try and talk my child down or defuse the situation with calm, quite words.
Granted, most people don’t have the slightest idea what is going on and why I choose to handle these outbursts the way I do. However, is it really necessary to make snide comments about my child needing a firm hand?
In the past 10 years, I’ve heard just about every sort of cruel, ignorant and intolerant comment that could possibly come out of someone’s mouth. The worst of them include the use of the r-word.
I realize that these meltdowns and behavioral outbursts can be unpleasant to to witness. Trust em when I say that I understand. However, they are even more unpleasant for my child.
Having said that, assuming that my kids are spoiled brats or just bad kids, simply because they are having a meltdown, is grossly ignorant. Kids and adults on the Autism Spectrum can experience the world in ways that are extremely overwhelming and completely overstimulating. Sensory overload is one of the most common reasons behind a meltdown. It very often has nothing to do with disciplinary issues whatsoever.
I found this video and thought it might help to explain Sensory Overload.
I promise that if you had to spend one day in the shoes of my kids, experiencing their sensory issues you would have a much better understanding.
What really gets to me is when you watch the behavior of the kids belonging to these same judgmental parents. Often times, I see kids that are downright rude, disrespectful and out of control and yet these same parents have the nerve to cast judgement on mine. Really?
In my world, my reality, there is a huge difference between bad behavior and behavior that is outside of ones control.
Regardless of Autism or Sensory Processing Disorder, my children are polite and respectful of others and generally well behaved.
I suggest you look at yourself and your kids before casting judgement on mine.
**Thanks for reading**
-Lost and Tired
Opinions: A guest post by Jeff Stimpson
0My friend Jeff Stimpson periodically does guest posts here on my blog. I love his writing and love being able to share these posts with you all.
You can contact/follow Jeff at the below locations.
jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy
Twitter: @Jeffslife
Books: Alex: The Fathering of a Preemie and Alex the Boy: Episodes From A Family’s Life With Autism
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Opinions
My 13-year-old son Alex and I get into the elevator with a neighbor. Perfectly normal thing to do after the end of a perfectly normal day. The door slides shut and the neighbor says, “Five, please” when I ask what floor she wants. Then perfectly normalcy ends.
This violates my new rule of avoiding, if I can, elevators with neighbors when I’m riding with Alex. He still presses the buttons for a load of extra floors.
Alex presses three (not our floor) and nine (our floor). “Alex, press five, please.”
“Noooo!” he says. “Alex, press five.” “Noooo!”
Once, I would’ve felt the neighbor’s eyes on my back. I don’t this time. I try to press five and Alex grabs my hand; my other hand holds a grocery bag. “Alex, press five now.”
Noooo!
I could put down the bag and, suddenly needing both my arms for this 13-year-old, force his hand to the five button. I guess I still feel the eyes for a moment, though, because I don’t force his hand.
We get to three. Alex dashes to the door, in front of the neighbor, and stares out. He curls the fingers of two hands to make his own 3.
Eventually we get to five. I forget how, but I may have pressed the button myself. “Have a good night,” I say to the neighbor. “Take it easy,” she says. “Take it easy,” Alex says.
Alex, walk this way… Alex, press five, please … Those times he doesn’t, I grunt like Basil Fawlty in comedic exasperation even as I know that whatever Alex is doing is no passing instant but the way things are and the way they’re going to be. I’m getting lain old pissed at the idea that not every parent has a son who’s going to have to be a grown-up amid the wreckage of our special-needs budgets. Some doctor put it best 14 years ago: “You’re at the mercy of everybody with an opinion.” At that time, I believed he was talking about just Alex’s year in a hospital. Now I think he was talking about the rest of Alex’s life.
What must people must think when they see Alex? I pity the parents. Why do they let him do that? Why don’t they find a home for him somewhere?
He has a home. The opinions we have of him there will do for now.
Jeff Stimpson is a native of Bangor, Maine, and lives in New York with his wife Jill and two sons. He is the author of Alex: The Fathering of a Preemie and Alex the Boy: Episodes From a Family’s Life With Autism (both available on Amazon). He maintains a blog about his family at jeffslife.tripod.com/alextheboy, and is a frequent contributor to various sites and publications on special-needs parenting, such as Autism-Asperger’s Digest, Autism Spectrum News, Fatherville.com, and The Autism Society news blog.
**Thanks for reading**-Lost and Tired
Autism Society and Autistic Self Advocacy Network Issue Joint Statement on DSM-5
0The Autism Society and Autistic Self Advocacy Network speak out on the changes coming to the DSM-5 as it pertains to Autism.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this
The Joint Statement of the Autism Society and Autistic Self Advocacy Network on the DSM-5 and Autism
As two national organizations committed to working to empower the autism and Autistic communities today and into the future, the Autism Society of America and the Autistic Self Advocacy Network issue the following joint statement regarding the definition of Autism Spectrum Disorder within the DSM-5.
The autism spectrum is broad and diverse, including individuals with a wide range of functional needs, strengths and challenges. The DSM-5′s criteria for the new, unified autism spectrum disorder diagnosis must be able to reflect that diversity and range of experience.
Over the course of the last 60 years, the definition of autism has evolved and expanded to reflect growing scientific and societal understanding of the condition. That expansion has resulted in improved societal understanding of the experiences of individuals on the autism spectrum and their family members. It has also led to the development of innovative service-provision, treatment and support strategies whose continued existence is imperative to improving the life experiences of individuals and families. As the DSM-5′s final release approaches and the autism and Autistic communities prepare for a unified diagnosis of ASD encompassing the broad range of different autism experiences, it is important for us to keep a few basic priorities in mind.
One of the key principles of the medical profession has always been, “First, do no harm.” As such, it is essential that the DSM-5′s criteria are structured in such a way as to ensure that those who have or would have qualified for a diagnosis under the DSM-IV maintain access to an ASD diagnosis. Contrary to assertions that ASD is over diagnosed, evidence suggests that the opposite is the case – namely, that racial and ethnic minorities, women and girls, adults and individuals from rural and low-income communities face challenges in accessing diagnosis, even where they clearly fit criteria under the DSM-IV. Furthermore, additional effort is needed to ensure that the criteria for ASD in the DSM-5 are culturally competent and accessible to under-represented groups. Addressing the needs of marginalized communities has been a consistent problem with the DSM-IV.
Individuals receive a diagnosis for a wide variety of reasons. Evidence from research and practice supports the idea that enhancing access to diagnosis can result in substantial improvements in quality of life and more competent forms of service-provision and mental health treatment. This is particularly true for individuals receiving diagnosis later in life, who may have managed to discover coping strategies and other adaptive mechanisms which serve to mask traits of ASD prior to a diagnosis. Frequently, individuals who are diagnosed in adolescence or adulthood report that receiving a diagnosis results in improvements in the provision of existing services and mental health treatment, a conceptual framework that helps explain past experiences, greater self-understanding and informal support as well as an awareness of additional, previously unknown service options.
Some have criticized the idea of maintaining the existing, broad autism spectrum, stating that doing so takes limited resources away from those most in need. We contend that this is a misleading argument – no publicly funded resource is accessible to autistic adults and children solely on the basis of a diagnosis. Furthermore, while the fact that an individual has a diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder does not in and of itself provide access to any type of service-provision or funding, a diagnosis can be a useful contributing factor in assisting those who meet other functional eligibility criteria in accessing necessary supports, reasonable accommodations and legal protections. As such, we encourage the DSM-5 Neurodevelopmental Disorders Working Group to interpret the definition of autism spectrum disorder broadly, so as to ensure that all of those who can benefit from an ASD diagnosis have the ability to do so.
The Autism Society and Autistic Self Advocacy Network encourage other organizations and groups to join with us in forming a national coalition aimed at working on issues related to definition of the autism spectrum within the DSM-5. Community engagement and representation within the DSM-5 process itself is a critical component of ensuring accurate, scientific and research-validated diagnostic criteria. Furthermore, our community must work both before and after the finalization of the DSM-5 to conduct effective outreach and training on how to appropriately identify and diagnose all those on the autism spectrum, regardless of age, background or status in other under-represented groups.
| Scott Badesch President Autism Society sbadesch@autism-society.org |
Ari Ne’eman |
P.S. The Autism Society will continue to share its thoughts and feelings about keeping the community inclusive as more information about the revisions is known. In the meantime, we strongly encourage people to get involved in the discussion.
**Thanks for reading**-Lost and Tired
Today’s Victory: 02/04/2012
0Today’s Victory is brought to you by Mr. Emmett John.
For those of you young children that struggle to sleep in their own bed, you’ll need no explanation.
For the rest you out there, this is Emmett sleeping in his own bed.
For the Lost and Tired family, this is a huge victory.
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Oh yeah… That’s why we don’t do birthdays
6In moment of what I now realize was complete insanity, I decided to go to my parents house to celebrate my moms birthday as well as Gavin’s…
We went to my parents to celebrate a few birthdays. We had cake, ice cream and sang happy birthday to Gavin, my Mom and my sister’s boyfriend.
Everything was going well until Gavin opened his presents.
The was all it took to set Emmett off.
Emmett freaked out because he wanted to open Gavin’s presents. Emmett screamed and screamed.
I could see Gavin starting to get wound tighter and tighter.
After we got home, Gavin had 2 meltdowns and Emmett had his share as well. Tonight has been a rough night and I don’t ever want to repeat it.
Sometimes I forget why we don’t do things like birthday parties. The truth is that I probably don’t forget but more likely just think that this time will be different.
It’s never different.
The end result is always the same. I swear to myself that I will never do this again.
Somehow, I always never remember and make the same mistake over and over again.
Each time I say to myself, Oh yeah….. That’s why we don’t do birthdays…
Posted from WordPress for Android
Super Bowl Sunday and #Autism
0Since I’ve been married I haven’t really followed professional sports. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just I have other things to worry about.
We also got rid of cable a few years ago, so I couldn’t watch them, even if I wanted to.
Having said that, I do enjoy the Super Bowl, especially the commercials.
The problem is that, while my kids enjoy the festivities of Super Bowl Sunday, it’s one of the absolute worse things I could allow them to partake in.
Can you say, sensory overload?
The big screen TV, the flashing lights, screaming and cheering all contribute to a nightmarish amount of sensory input.
The boys would have fun while in the moment, however, they would reach a threshold very quickly and things would take a drastic turn for the worse.
At least in the Lost and Tired family, this is the inevitable outcome.
So, when we are invited to the Super Bowl party this year, and politely decline the invitation, please don’t take offense. This is just something we have to do as special needs parents.
It’s not that we don’t want to go, it’s just not best for our kids.
Sometimes, actually, many times, we have to make this type a sacrifice in order to do right by our special needs kids. Believe me, there is little we want more than to attend these types of social functions with the huge exception of wanting our kids to thrive.
Posted from WordPress for Android
**Thanks for reading**-Lost and Tired











