We met with Dr. Patti this evening about the whole boundaries issue thing with Gavin. Gavin’s at that age where things are changing and hormones are raging. Factor in his lack of impulse control and sprinkle in a few pinches of RAD, you have a recipe for problems.
The mission tonight was to come up with a clear set of boundaries, guidelines and consequences.
The conversation was very uncomfortable and included words like erections and masterbation. This was very awkward but Dr. Patti was a huge help and we survived. I don’t know how much, if anything, Gavin retained but he handled himself well and didn’t get angry or stress out.
We had to reiterate the house rules and establish a few new ones.
Here’s the long and short of it. Gavin cannot have unsupervised access to his brothers. Because of his lack of impulse control, raging hormones and past history, we have to make sure that everyone is same. These rules aren’t anything new but we needed to refocus on this and reenforce it with Gavin. Any violation of these rules will result in swift action.
We are working with Dr. Patti to create consequences for violations and ways in which to implement them.
This is a really challenging time and the combination of Autism and RAD make it more so. Gavin basically functions on very basic, primal instinct and that makes him a handful on the best of days.
Throw in puberty and you have an explosive combination.
In most cases, it’s very much like Of Mice and Men. There’s not necessarily any ill intent behind his actions but those actions can still be damaging to those around him. On the flip-side, because of some of the other mental health issues, ill intent is a possibility as well.
I’m not afraid to say that I’m really nervous about this new leg of our journey. We love Gavin and want us all to be a family, living together and moving forward. At the same time, we have to ensure everyone’s safety and wellbeing.
How do you folks deal with this time of life in your kids on the Autism spectrum? This is an uncomfortable subject but one that obviously impacts a great many of us.
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