Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

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Jul 11 2011

Confessions of a special needs father: 7/11/2011

I thought I would update everyone as to how I’m doing. Last Wednesday I went to see my family doctor for a cholesterol follow up. The good news was that I managed to lower my LDL (bad cholesterol) by almost 40 pts. The bad news is that my HDL (good cholesterol) is WAY to low so I have to intensify my workouts a bit more. I also lost 10 lbs in 30 days. So that was kind of a shocker and it felt really good to hear that.

Now for the honesty part. I had the uncomfortable conversation with my doctor about where I was mentally and emotionally. I felt that I was struggling and needed to get some help. I already talk to someone but that wasn’t enough. I ask about being put back on anti-depressants and she agreed that was a good idea. So I was put back on Paxil 20mg/day. I’ll be completely honest and tell you that the idea of being back on meds doesn’t sit well with me as I would prefer to deal with things on my own. That said, it was the right thing to do. I already feel better simply because I took the steps necessary to help myself. The meds take about 8 weeks to reach the desired effects but I feel pretty good right now.

I realize there is a lot of stigma attached to medications but I will say this. Medications are great if you need them and not unnecessary if you don’t. I very much needed the help and I’m glad I have the where-with-all to pursue the help I needed to get better. When you live a life similar to mine, depression is often times an unavoidable side effect of everything you have going on.

I thought it was important that I shared this because I want to encourage anyone out there that may need help to get it. There is NOTHING wrong with needing help, nothing at all. Take pride in the fact that you have the courage to do what is necessary to get better and start moving forward again. I’m SO glad I got the help I need to get back on my feet.

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2011/07/11/confessions-of-a-special-needs-father-7112011/

Mar 27 2010

a follow up to the "perspective" post

I should follow up by saying this letter was written about 2 years ago. The adoption was successful about 1 1/2 years ago. However, even after the adoption the grandmother still came after us. In Dec 2009 the fifth district court of appeals ruled that our rights (including Gavin’s) had been grossly violated and that the court (in the small town that bio dad and grandmother lived in) has abused its power. This finally put in end to everything. Nine years of begging and pleading for someone to listen to us and to the doctors. Nine years of screaming to deaf ears that Gavin was being abused. We knew it and the doctors knew it. Nine years we will never get back.

Lizze and I have never known each other without them trying to destroy our lives. We have never been able to do anything without worrying about how this could be used against. We started out 2010 free for the first time. Now we are struggling to figure out what to do. I know that sounds strange but we have been doing one thing for so long it’s tough to figure out what else to do. We are slowly putting the pieces back together.

We are currently and probably forever challenged with raising Gavin to be the best he can be. It’s really easy to forget how hard we fought for chance to do this when he cracks the walls underneath his bedroom from throwing a fit. It’s easy to forget that Gavin is a victim in the middle of all the drama.

You can see in his eyes he not the same child anymore. It’s difficult to read this letter and not relive everything. Since that letter was written we have seen a gradual change take place in him. While he is just as autistic as he was then the other mental health issues are becoming more prevalent. We see more bipolar and conduct disorder related issues then the aspie ones.

Anyway, I started this blog as a more of a therapeutic thing for myself. A chance to purge every once in a while. I wasn’t sure how people would take hearing the truth about what our life is like. So often we sugar coat everything so others feel more comfortable about our situation. I just can’t do it anymore. It’s simply to exhausting. I hope that reading our story helps others to realize how tough it is to raise an autistic child. I also wanted others to know that they aren’t alone.

I hope this trend continues down the road. We can all share ideas and strategies that may have worked in our lives.

This is our life….

lost and Tired

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2010/03/27/a-follow-up-to-the-perspective-post/

Jan 31 2010

It's been awhile

Nothing really new to report this weekend. Gavin was doing ok but today we have had some problems. We got Elliott a Nintendo DSi the other day.

We decided to let Gavin and Elliott play together a little today since Gavin has been doing well. We have a baby monitor in the room to hear everything and we are like 10 feet away in the next room. Apparently Gavin started having Elliott take pictures of him with his DSi. He had been whispering ( which he knows he is not allowed to do )to Elliott.

We jumped in right away only to hear Gavin say he wanted Elliott take pictures of him in his under ware.

Super creepy, right? We then took the DSi and went through the pictures and found even more creepy ones.

That put in end to the play time. Things happen even when we are right there. Later we had issues with Gavin touching Elliott (because he just wanted to) on his head. Gavin knows the rules yet chose to do it anyway. We have to be swift and severe in order to correct the problem.

Lost and Tired

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2010/01/31/its-been-awhile/

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