Autism, Aspergers, Rob Gorski,Special Needs Parenting, Reactive Attachment Disorder, Fibromyalgia,

Tag Archive: WRONG

Mar 04 2012

It’s gonna be one of those days

It’s gonna be one of those days.  Emmett is really having a rough day and there isn’t anything I can do to help.  I have no idea what’s wrong.  He should be at the tail end of his flare up,  so I’m at a loss.

He’s super cranky and sooooo easily set off.

It’s one of those days,  that as a special needs parent,  I realize just how powerless I am to help my boys at times.  :-(

On a positive or rather less depressing note,  he has some crazy hair going on today.  It’s cute :-)

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Hanging there Emmett.  Things will get better. Daddy loves you :-)

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2012/03/04/its-gonna-be-one-of-those-days-2/

Feb 07 2012

Hello anti-anxiety medication

Elliott began his anti-anxiety medication this morning.  As much as I hate the idea of medicating my 5 year old,  it’s the right thing to do.

We kept him home from school so wrong could keep an eye on him. 

Even at the low dose it does appear to be producing a sedative effect.  It will take a little while for us to know if it’s actually helping to reduce his anxiety or not.

Hopefully this will help him to just be a kid and let go of at least some of his worry.

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2012/02/07/hello-anti-anxiety-medication/

Jul 04 2011

My heads about to explode

For whatever reason Emmett has been screaming ALL morning. When I say sreaming, I mean ear piercing and headache inducing screaming. I have no idea what’s behind this but we need to figure it out. I don’t know if he’s in pain or just overwhelmed. This is when I find the speech and language delays to be the most frustrating. I want to help him but I don’t know how because he can’t tell me what’s wrong. Helpless doesn’t quite say it….

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2011/07/04/my-heads-about-to-explode/

May 07 2011

The blink of an eye: Autism and aggression

~Autism and aggression~

I have blogged many times about the injuries we deal with as a result of meltdowns and rages associated with Autism. Right now the main aggressor in the house is Emmett. Gavin is by far the most violent but as of late he only “attacks” himself. Emmett on the other hand typically goes after Lizze and Elliott. No one knows exactly why that is but there are schools of thought. It’s most likely due to the frustration of not being able to effectively communicate. If that’s true then why is it typically Lizze and Elliott that get “attacked”?

Often times these “attacks” are completely unprovoked and seemingly come out of nowhere. Sometimes the injuries are pretty bad. Lizze gets cuts on her face and neck. Elliott gets the same but also on his back as well. Elliott was hit in the face. Emmett was upset about something so he through what he had in his hands at Elliott and hit him right above his eye. Luckily, it just missed his eye. We are working really hard to figure out how to properly address these situations…..and….NO….spanking WILL NOT work.

~Triggers for Autism related outbursts~

Why are so many people so quick to address violence with more violence? It simply doesn’t work, especially with Autistic kids.. What DOES work is redirection but that takes a great deal of effort. Also understanding the “triggers” will help to reduce the behavior. Did you know that most Autism related meltdowns are simply the result of over-stimulation. Basically, this means that an Autistic child has absorbed SO much of the world around them they simply can’t cope. Imagine if you heard every single sound around you and that sound was so loud it hurt your ears (clocks ticking and lights humming). What if the lights around you were so bright you could barely see? These are just a few of the things that are constantly assaulting kids with Autism on a sensory level. 

When you identify a trigger you can work to reduce or eliminate what is overwhelming your child and potentially reducing the outbursts as well. It takes time, patience and understanding to work through these situations. It is, however, very rewarding. Not only are you reducing the meltdowns but you are providing your child relief from whatever is causing them pain and discomfort.

While understanding these behaviors is a step in the right direction the behaviors themselves still need to be addressed. Violence shouldn’t be tolerated and there are consequences for hurting others. The consequences should be appropriate for the child and the situation (you are the best judge of that). We have to teach our kids different, more appropriate ways of coping with stress. People have the right to feel and actually be safe from violent outbursts. In my house when Emmett attacks someone we intervene as quickly as possible and attempt to redirect him. Emmett is a tough situation because of the significant language barrier, so we have to improvise. We are working on the root problem which is, communication and language. OT has started as well, so we are addressing the sensory issues at the same time. Hopefully over time we can reduce or eliminate these outbursts so things like what happened to Elliott’s eye don’t happen again.

The important thing to remember is NOT to respond to Autism related outbursts with more violence. It doesn’t work and it sends the WRONG message.

 

Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2011/05/07/the-blink-of-an-eye-autism-and-aggression/

Apr 25 2011

Our lives are on hold…AGAIN

Today just needs to be over already. How much more can we possibly take much more of this.  It’s only Monday so that doesn’t hold well for what the rest of the week has to offer us. Today got off to such a rough start and to make matters worse, I forgot to give Gavin his meds this morning. I realized this after we rushed out the door to get Lizze to her appointment this morning. I figured no problem, the appointment is at 9:15am and we should be out no later then 10:00am. I was thinking that we would swing by and pick up the boys from my parents house and then grab Gavin’s meds and give them to him at school. An easy fix to a serious problem, right? WRONG.

As we are driving to pick up the boys the power steering goes out and smoke pours out from under the hood. I manage to pull over into a Steak and Shake parking lot. Then the van just stalls out. Have I mentioned just how much I HATE this van. I get out and pop the hood and wait for it to stop smoking. I can smell the burning coolant but can’t see where it’s leaking from. Upon closer examination I found the leak. I actually got video of it this time because Lizze had something similar happen while she was driving the van a few weeks ago but we could finds a problem. Well I definitely located the problem. My mom came to pick Lizze up and I decided to avoid the tow bill is possible and so I drove it home. I managed to get the van to Waterloo Transmission (as it was on my way) and one of the guys came out to take a look. It appears to be a metal tube that comes off the water pump.

The power steering loss is because the coolant is spraying onto the belt and so the belt is slipping causing us to loose power steering. I HATE this van. It’s a never ending money pit. We have electrical issues and the rear passenger doors won’t even unlock much of the time anymore. I made it home and parked her [van] in the driveway. It will be sitting there indefinitely until we can do the repairs.

The reason I’m sharing this (aside from venting) because the impact this is going to have on us. The special needs family is a very fragile entity and things like this come up and are very destabilizing to say the least. We have doctors appointments and therapies to be at this week. We are supposed to be in Cleveland this Friday for Emmett but that won’t be happening now. I’m just frustrated a lot right now and overwhelmed right now.

 

On a positive note, at least Lizze wasn’t the one driving the van when this happened because with everything she has going on  she wouldn’t have been able to steer the van. Also Gavin should be ok as far as his meds go because the are only going to be late today. He’ll get then the second he walks in the door this afternoon.

 

In this video you can see the coolant squirting out towards the left side of the screen.  The video is shaky because I’m SO stressed out I was shaking.

 

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2011/04/25/our-lives-are-on-hold-again/

Feb 28 2011

“Kinecting” with Autism…..

I’m a huge believer in using technology to help make our lives more manageable. When we got our tax return this year one of the things that we did was try to build a crash room. That didn’t go very well. When our bouncey house died we were unable to replace it due to being discontinued. The rest of the crash room pretty much fell apart after that.  We wanted something to capture the kids attention but at the same time keep them physically active.

 

Our kids LOVE video games. However, just because they LOVE them doesn’t mean they are able to play them. In Gavin’s case he is really good but gets REALLY frustrated and meltsdown. Elliott’s current obsession is video games. We do our best to limit them but we can also use them as a reward or incentive for good behavior.

We had gotten a Wii around Thanksgiving from Best Buy using a few gift cards and reward zone points I had been saving up.  I thought the kids would be able to interact a little easier then using a regular controller…WRONG….. That was a disaster.. It was WAY to frustrating for them…..  So we returned it and just sat on the store credit until tax return.  We first tried the PS3 with “Move”. While it “worked” better then the Wii….. it was still a problem because Emmett kept taking the controllers and was drawn to the “glowing” balls on the move controller like a moth to a flame. That didn’t work…..

 

So here is what we did. We switched to a Xbox 360 with Kinect. This has worked out AMAZINGLY well. There is no controller for Emmett to “take”. All of the kids can safely interact with the games. Even Emmett can play as you can see in the video. The kids are physically active and it has helped to work out some sensory related things. They can run, punch and kick…. it’s all part of the game. Even those with “motor issues”  seem to go well (Gavin). The Kinect is pretty forgiving as far as the movements go. After boxing or racing around a track (by running in place) the kids are exhausted. It also helps out with the whole eye hand coordination thing… The kids really enjoy it and Emmett can participate without “interfering” with his brothers.

 

This is really cool because he wants so badly to do what his brothers are doing and now he can… We still tightly manage the amount of time they spend but I really enjoy watching them ALL play together… It gives them a much needed sense of normalcy. Everyone needs to feel normal every once in a while…

Here is my little man, Emmett John boxing and then celebrating his win…

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2011/02/28/kinecting-with-autism/

Jun 21 2010

Back in limbo

Well we don’t know anymore then what we did before today. He has a speech disorder for sure. He does parallel play. But we are not really any closer to the diagnosis. We have picked up a geneticist, GI specialist, OT and Speech. That’s what I remember anyways. She wants a full genetic work up to figure out what’s going on.

She doesn’t know where he falls on the spectrum. She wants to make sure we don’t label any wrong. So basically she said he clearly has a speech disorder and he parallel plays. However, he has good eye contact and engages socially which is good. That’s all I can remember. Lizze will probably post a more detailed post on her blog.

Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers.

LT

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Permanent link to this article: http://lostandtired.com/2010/06/21/back-in-limbo/

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